Oct 26, 2024
Hey, welcome! Let’s talk about clarity—what does it really mean to see the world clearly? And not just in the visual sense, but through the lens of your own personal development. In this episode, I (Paul Clough) share a personal story that might just give you that ‘aha’ moment—a story that acts as a mirror for your own journey. Let’s get into how investing in yourself can lead to clearer vision and, ultimately, a more fulfilling life.
Here’s the thing: personal growth isn’t selfish. It’s not about being self-centered; it’s about being self-aware. It’s about becoming the best version of you—not just for you, but for the people around you. Imagine this: when you see the world more clearly, you’re able to show up as your true self—the real you—and that’s a gift to everyone.
This episode is about loving yourself, living kindly, and embracing continuous growth. You might just find that as you invest in yourself, the world becomes a brighter, clearer place, not just for you, but for everyone in your life.
So, ready to see the world more clearly? Let’s make that happen!
Shine brightly,
Paul Clough
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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism
Paul Clough talks about personal development in this podcast
Hey, I've got a simple, real life metaphor that really happened to me. And suddenly I found something else of how to see the world more clearly. Okay, please have a listen. Cause I think you'll enjoy it.
Some time ago, I decided to change the way I see the world
Hey. Some time ago, I decided to change the way that I see the world. Literally, how I see the world. You see, I had a lens. Well, both lens replacements, in my eyes. You see, before, in order to see sort of clearly, I had to wear glasses. And glasses for driving and long distance and things like that, and telly and that. But after a while, I didn't wear them so often. And, do you know what happens? Well, you just get used to the blur. It becomes normal. It becomes your normal. My normal. Well, it did became my normal. M so I decided I wanted to see a bit more clearly. I wanted to see the world clearly. So I literally had someone take out the lenses in my bloody eyes and, replace them with new ones. Yeah. And I am, not a brave little soldier, but I did it because I really wanted to see clearly. So was it expensive? Yeah, it was a little bit. It was. But it was important. So I found the money. It was important. It was important to see the world with more clarity, not just that blur where things, you know, the colors just faded into each other and the details just disappeared. Was I nervous? Yeah, I was. I told you, I'm not a brave little soldier. So was it uncomfortable? Yeah, it was a bit. It was uncomfortable. But when I think about it now, it wasn't very long. It was more uncomfortable thinking about it, I think. And then when it's done, it's gone. Did I have to do stuff? Did I have to have, like, a continuing thing? Was it just there and then? Yeah, I had to do bloody eye drops. I had to sleep with goggles on just in case I scratched myself and things like that. And did it turn out perfect? Well, not quite. Didn't turn out quite perfect. It was better. It was better. And, you see, it was only, this last week I went back because I wanted to see if I could tweak it, have one more little treatment. I had to keep working on it because I wasn't quite happy with the way I was. Was it pleasant? Well, not exactly. And then we're back to the bloody eye drops and back to the goggles. Yep, there. We're there again. So a little bit more uncomfortableness. But am I happy now? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And when I think back, and this is what got me into this, this, this thought and this story, I invested in me, I m invested in me. And therefore, it's like a real life metaphor. And you see, I always tell my clients when they get embarrassed about working on themselves, paying for therapy, maybe they think that they should be spending their time and their money on their family not working on themselves, because that's selfish, isn't it? And I find that's the most, well, selfish thing to do, not, not to work on yourself. You see, who would the p. Who would the people that you love prefer to be around when we're talking about you? Would they prefer to be around you when you're feeling your true self? You know, when you're seeing the world more clearly. And when I say clearly in seeing, I'm talking about through the emotions and limiting beliefs and negative emotions. And those feelings, when they're gone and you're feeling good with yourself, wouldn't they prefer to be around you when you're feeling that way? Of course they would. Of course they would. But the thing is, when they're feeling good about feeling, about being around you because you feel good, what happens to you? Will you feel bloody even gooder, if that's a word, you feel even better and then they feel better. And, it's a lovely spiral of going upwards as opposed to downwards. That's the opposite, isn't it? But they just feel really good. Yeah. So, investing, you see, I, I do a lot of talking and thinking of being kinder. Talked about it quite a bit. So it's in my, it's in my mind and it's. This is about me, but I think it might resonate maybe if you just, just give it a time. Just give it a moment or two as I speak, you see, I wanted to be kinder and thinking about being kinder, using my skills to do that. Why? Why would I want to do that? Well, because I don't think I'm doing enough. I don't do it enough. I can be kind, but it's not at the forefront of my horizon, my thinking. And when I was thinking about it, I'm not happy to blindly put up with it, not living to my potential, because there is potential in being kind again. When you're kind to somebody, you feel good, they feel good. Win win. But when you feel good and you're kind, people just want more of you. I guess.
What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else
So when we think about it, how kind of you, you know, are you living your life to your true potential? Are you? What might happen if you did? What might happen if you did live your life to your true potential? Now, I know you're here listening. So you're into this personal development malarkey where you want to get a little bit better in your life. Strive to be the best version of yourself. And, that's why I want to make it all about you, you see? It is all about you. You have to come first. The old aeroplane thing, you know, put on your. If the air masks come down, put them on you before you deal with somebody else, so you can deal with other people because you're in a better state. And that's what I said right at the beginning. When you're feeling good about yourself, maybe you still want to get better. Well, you will. But when you're feeling good about yourself, people get the best of you. They see the best of you. So it is all about investing in yourself, taking the time, because it does take time. Taking the effort, because it does take bloody effort, doesn't it? I know it's simple when we break it down like we do here, break down the complicated into simple steps. And it's pretty easy, those steps, because they're simple, they're easy. But it does take effort, doesn't it? Does take effort to see yourself clearly, not as you are now, but how you can be, how, you want to be. My son Joseph has a lovely saying. That's Joseph Clough. Search him on the Internet. He is massive. But he has this little saying. He says, what you want wants you. Yeah. Have a think about that. What you want wants you, because it does. And if you want the best for yourself, that's what's there for you. It wants you to be the best for yourself. The whole world, the whole multiverse universe wants you to be the best version of yourself. But again, you have to put yourself into number one. And it's not just kindness, is it? It's not, is it? It's a great place to start, I believe, but it's whatever change you want to make. To make. I love to say this, to make the most dynamic change in you and then affect everything else in that dynamic. Change. Love the word dynamic. It feels like there's motion, emotion in it, isn't it? What would make the most dynamic change in you and affect everything else? It's like saying, what is the one thing that if you change, that everything else would have to change too? Just have a think now. Just have a think. If you could. What would you change? for me, it was kindness. That was the thing on my horizon. To see clearly, to be kind, to see opportunities of kindness, to be kind. Maybe that's because I felt that was. Well, I did. It was not on, as I said, the highest part of my agenda. And I thought it should be, should be of a higher value to me. But this dynamic change, is it quick? Well, it could be. Could be. If you've got something that you really need to change and it's really, you know, bringing you down, maybe because it's anxiety, maybe there's fear, maybe there's guilt, maybe there's grief, maybe there's, oh, everything. But if it's affecting you, go and see a therapist. You know that talk about it so many times, go. from my experience, if you find a great master hypnotist who is a great master practitioner of NLP, who is a great master practitioner of timeline therapy, you will blow that out of the water so quickly. But you do have to make the effort, don't you? You do have to make the effort. And you know, I've got something. How to find or what to look for in a great, great therapist somewhere back in the ether of all these episodes. Just search, it, you'll find it. But working on yourself, because you don't have to be a graduate therapist, because we're always continually working on ourselves, aren't we? That's why you're here. So it takes time. And to work on yourself in that time, you could say, just look at the back catalogue of the episodes here. There's loads of them. And those hypnosis tracks, they're all there for you. Where'd you get them? Paulcloughonline.com podcast. And there's so many other great podcasts around. I'm going to do a little episode on the ones that I find so good for me, and hopefully they'll be good for you.
NLP is about learning from the past, not reliving it
So you have to put the effort in, you have to spend the time, you have to make that decision. And is it comfortable? Yeah, well, not always, is it? It's not always comfortable. Just like the eyes. But it doesn't have to hurt again. What do you mean? Cloughie. Because sometimes people think you have to go back into the pain again, go back into the past, into those places of bloody trauma or whatever they are, and go back and re experience them, which is a load of bollocks you can think of. It really is. You don't have to go back to the places that you thought were hurtful. To find out that they're still bloody hurtful. No, no, no, no. Not at all. My sons and I work completely different. And it's such a wonderful way. You learn from the past, not relive it. You get your unconscious mind to learn from the past and not relive it. That's what the hypnosis is about. That's what the NLP is about. It's everything I do here is about learning, not reliving. The only times you relive are the good bloody things. When you're having a fucking fantastic time and it's good for you, good for everyone else and good for planet Earth, then you do relive that part. You anchor those parts so you can fire them off in the future whenever you need them. And again, there's anchoring in. That is his hypnosis tracks bullcliffonline.com podcast just a little one. And they're all free, by the way. They're free, complimentary. You don't even have to put anything down, just your name and an email, because it's all about unconscious learning. And when you get the unconscious learning, sometimes you get the conscious learning. And when you do that thinking, that puzzle book thinking, yeah, you get some conscious learning as well. But you're directing your unconscious mind to learn. And you see, the learning frees us from the negative emotions and the negative limiting beliefs because they're only there because we haven't learned. We only have anxieties and fears and things like that because our, unconscious mind is still using those emotions because we haven't learned the lessons from those past experiences. So once the unconscious mind learns what it needs to know, and it can let go of those negative emotions, let go of those limiting beliefs, because they no longer serve you because you have the learnings, it's the whole basis of timeline therapy, which is a beautiful, beautiful process. Thanks to Tad James for that. Bless him. He's up in heaven now. But what a process he developed there.
When you're developing yourself, you have to have regular checkups
So going back to like, that metaphor of the eyes, you have to have regular checkups. But when you're developing yourself, isn't that like reviewing how far you've come, what needs to be refined? I. What needs to be tweaked? Maybe you discover something else that needs a little bit of work. Because as you move through, I'm not going to call it, a comfort zone, your familiar zone, because that's what it all it is. As you go through that imaginary boundary, you come to things, you go, oh, oh, I didn't that's giving me just a little bit of concern, or maybe I just thinking I'm bit of an imposter here and all that crap. So you just do some tweaking. But when you review, you go, hang on a minute. I have come so far. I have learned so much. I ain't an imposter. I deserve to be here. And you learn anyway.
You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can love others
Back to that kindness. Back to that thing about kindness. I like the theme of kindness here. You see, when we work on ourselves, we work with our self development, our, personal development, whatever you want to call it, is. We want to work with kindness, don't we? Be kind to ourselves, for God's sake. You know, going to get soppy now, but, you know, you got to love yourself first before you can love others. You've got to be kind to yourself first before you can be kind to others. Because if not, you're not in alignment, you're not congruent. That's a lovely word as well, congruent. But you're not living your true self. You can't try to love others. You cannot try to be kind to others. You cannot whatever you want to be if you're not being it yourself, truly. So you have to live the way you want to be, don't you? Live the way you want to be. How do you do that? Act as if. So if you act as if, for example, you're being kind and looking. and to do that, you'd have to look for opportunities to be kind, and then you have to act on those opportunities, and then all of a sudden, you're being kind. If you want to be confident, not over competent. So let's say competent. Act as if. How would somebody act as if. How would you act as if you had that right amount of confidence. Not overconfidence, but, the appropriate amount of confidence, how would you act? How would you breathe? How would you stand? And if you want to remember to remind yourself, get a sticky note and stick it everywhere. Act as if. And this really just starts from being kind and loving to yourself first. Yeah, soppy. I said that before. It's soppy, but it really is true. Taking time out just to be with yourself, but it's also being kind to yourself. And, loving to yourself is investing in you first. Now, this all sounds absolutely bloody wonderful, doesn't it? And, the metaphor here is to get you thinking, get your unconscious mind to go, oh, yeah. What can we do? Well, we'll probably dive in. Well, I will do some more, longer podcasts with the steps of how to be kind to yourself, how to love yourself, how to whatever, whatever, whatever. But if there's anything particular you want to know, bloody ask. Don't be bashful, don't be shy. Just ask. Email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. and that's all you have to do. I'll get back to you personally, and then we'll divide, divide, devise a process, or I'll remember one that I've learned. So that's why I said, this is a just simple truth through a real story, seeing the world more clearly, becoming, well, maybe just thoughtful for the moment because. And the reason I'm hanging in here with this one is because I feel it's so important, because it's the foundation to build upon. What's that, Paul? Being kind of to yourself. Being loving to yourself. And, from that foundation, you can develop yourself into anything you choose. You really can. And sometimes, as I say, it won't be better roses. It might, you know, might be just uncomfortable for a little while, but it always disappears. But I say, just, I want to reiterate this. It doesn't have to hurt again. Promise you, it's how you want to be. When you focus on how you want to be, what are the skills you need to be to be that way? How would you have to believe all of that stuff? Do you learn from the past? Yeah. so please do get in contact with me. Please, just. I'd love you to share this with, well, as many people as you could. I'd love you to share the podcast. You know, just. Maybe just share on your contacts, maybe put it on Facebook. This, this is a great podcast. Or this is a good podcast. This is an interesting podcast. Maybe do that and just put it into all your contacts.
Paul Clough: Personal development is about being the best version of yourself
That would be lovely if you did that big ask. I know, because it takes at least 30 seconds, but, you know, it's a big ask. I know, because even telling people that you're listening to personal development, oh, what are you doing that for? It's a bit like myself. When I first started, I was doing an awful lot of stuff, but then I really got into this and I went to, to learn hypnosis, and it was embarrassing to tell people, I'm going to a course on hypnosis and hypnotherapy, but by the way, I'm in big business. It was embarrassing, but I wanted to see the world more clearly. I wanted to live to my true potential. I'm nearly doing that. Nearly not enough, because we're all the same. I think we're in the same boat. We all want to get that little bit more. So let's put that ladder against the wall that we know is going to help us achieve what we want to achieve. There's another little metaphor. Don't put the ladder up against the wrong wall. Have a think first, get your intention and then go. all this stuff we can expand upon, promise you. But this is just a thoughtful. A thoughtful muse to get you thinking of how you can see the world more clearly, how you can find those emotions that you just really feel would help you be that person, the real you. The best version of yourself. I hope all of this made bloody sense. I really do. I've waffled on, but it's come from the heart. And just remember, the people who you love would rather be around you when you're in love with yourself and being kind to yourself and being the best striving person to be the best version of yourself. Yeah. Okay, my friend. Until the next time. I will see you, hear you, hear you, not hear you, speak to you. I'll speak to you then. Enjoy. But please remember, if you want anything, just email me. Okay. Bye bye now.
Warning.
You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend.
Personal development. Unplugged.
Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]